Family
Talk
Harriet Shaklee PhD,
Family Development Specialist, UI Cooperative Extension
We all want to talk to our children and other family members, but often time slips by without communicating. The challenge is especially great for working parents, since they spend so many hours a day away from their children. All the more important to make the most of the time you have together as a family. Some ways to make your home a center for family talk:
Reunion.
Children may be bursting with information about
their day when they first see you. Take advantage of this opportunity. Take some time at
reunion to listen to the day’s report. Share the story of your day as well. Meals and
other chores can wait a bit. Or prepare your meal together so you can talk and cook at the
same time.
Turn
off the TV. Conversation
works best when distractions are limited. The biggest distraction in most homes is the
television set. When the TV is on, family conversation comes to a halt. Family members may
try to talk, but be ignored because the family is so involved in the show, or may be
hushed so the family can listen to the TV. The television may have a role at your house,
but turn it off when the show is over to allow family talk.
Meal
times. Meal
times are especially good for family talk, as everyone sits together to enjoy the food and
company. This is a great time to ask children the important events of the day, or to
report the news of your day. Some families don’t take phone calls during meal times
so they’re not interrupted. Friends soon learn to call at other times.
Car
talk. Working
families often find themselves together in the car while shuttling between work,
childcare, school, and home. This is your chance to catch up on what family members are
thinking or doing. Car talk can be especially good for private conversations with a family
member. Take a ride to the store or school with the person you want to talk to, and you
know you’ll have his or her attention without “little ears” listening in.
Or take a talking walk together – it works just as well.
Work-n-talk. Involve your
children with you in household chores. With the kids helping, you’ll get more work
done, and you can talk together while you work. This is a great time to share stories
about your life as a child and how it compares to life for children today. Maybe you can
bring up one of the issues you need to raise with your child. Or just share jokes and
laughter together.
Distance
Parenting. It can be especially challenging to keep in touch with children
when you live apart from them. Letters and phone calls are always welcome, but what do you
talk about if you’re far away? Some parents call to read a story over the phone or
send a book tape for their child to listen to. Try sending cartoons and jokes through the
mail – enclose a stamped addressed envelope and ask your children to send their
favorites to you. Ask your children’s school to send you notices and newsletters to
help you stay in touch with your children’s events and activities. Keep in touch by
e-mail if you have access.
|
